Jane’s Journey to Wellness

I didn’t sleep at all on Sunday night. Monday I went to the hospital to meet with a new gyno after mine said I had what looked to be a cervical polyp a couple of weeks ago. I looked that up immediately and wasn’t too scared. They are common, easily removed and rarely cancerous. Gross, yes, not sexy, yes, but still not too scary. The new Dr. was nice enough but as soon as he looked at my cervix he ordered a biopsy and an ultrasound. I’ve had a long history of “female trouble” so I wasn’t all that alarmed. But I soon realized this was getting serious and not going to be an abnormal pap or even a fibroid which I’ve had and most are noncancerous. This wasn’t cancerous cells on my cervix that they could frozen either. This was really serious. I asked why the biopsy doc and he replied “I don’t like the way this looks.” He had them fit me in for an ultrasound immediately. The tech didn’t know much other than one ovary was enlarged, one was too small for my age and there was what looked like a small fibroid. So I leave and go to work and wait for an answer. My new Dr. said he would call me ASAP. A nurse called me fairly late in my work day yesterday, Tuesday, and requested that I meet with my new Dr. at 9am this morning to discuss my results. I asked if he could just talk to me on the phone as I’m very busy and working in Olathe. (35 miles from home) She said “no, we don’t discuss this type of results over the phone.” I agreed to be there at 9am. I took 2 unisom last night and did manage to sleep. I was told no exam today just talking. My name was called and I walked in to meet my Dr. and the nurse that called me. She introduced herself and something she said caught me off guard something about advanced directive? Then she asked if I had a will or living will and gave me a brochure. Now, I’m really worried. Then I was asked to get in my gown and I said no exam today just talking? right? So, the Dr. came in and explained that I have cancer and they need to take some more samples today from inside my uterus. Great! I’m already late for work! (am I insane?!) I undress and let him hurt me. 3 big pinches were taken. He then explains that I need to have a complete hysterectomy to even know what stage my cancer is in. They will remove my ovaries, uterus, cervix and some lymph nodes too. Wash my whole abdomen out and then decide if I need radiation and/or chemo. Any questions? Where do I begin? I don’t even know what to say. He leaves the room. He makes me an appt. with another Dr. he highly recommends at another hospital and I will meet him this next Monday afternoon at 2:30. I’m getting dressed and the nurse knocks. She come in as I’m putting my work boots on and asks me if I’m hiring any painters as her son is looking for work?! I could have punched her in the face. Do I have work? Does my family? Was I just told I have cancer?! I politely say I’m not hiring today. She gives me her name and number. What a bitch! I go home eat a pancake take my vitamins and some motrin and leave with my husband and two kids to paint a house in Olathe. I’m glad I work with my family. We start talking and I seem fine. Then my cramps turned into what I can only think was labor pains. I get hot, real hot, then cold, I can’t get comfortable. Loran pulls over and I jump out and throw up on the side of the highway. I get back in put my seat back and Zach rubs my head. I start feeling better and we decide to go on. Yes, I’m a bit of a workaholic. We did talk about a few things today but mostly got busy. Things got tense this afternoon and I know the boys are freaked out. I am too. I told Zach to slow down and he said I’m running out of time and I replied I am the one running out of time and I’m saying no running in a house with a paint bucket then I cried. The Dr. called me and they want to do a CT scan before I see the other Dr. on Monday so I guess that’s next. We got a coat on everything we needed to. Then we came home for a few minutes and then I go give a free estimate to nice couple. I even made a quick call to an old friend that had called me a couple of days ago. I didn’t say anything about the “C word”. Now I’m home, in my house dress, and am glad to be here. It was really a pretty day today. The sun came out which has been rare. What am I going to do?